My dreams
Chapter 2.
In the first chapter we read about focus! Focus on the positive and trying to see good around a black dot which is a problem in our life's!
Many of us only able to recognize the one problem and failing to enjoy all other joy what is havering above us just as mentioned as an imaginary black dot on a white paper!
Now what is really the meaning of dream! Not the type of dream when we are asleep! The kind of dream when we are very much awake and a conscious mind is working and doing it's "wondering" since dreams are not a actual real event if you will, they are feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. A dream is a cherished ambition an idea or aspiration and really just a created fantasy!
Is it good to dream!?
I have day dreamed so much through out my life because it helps staying in the good mood and give hope for the unknown and scary life and for the future.
No matter where you come from, what upbringing, what financial background you are let go into your adult years, life has and always can surprise you with some tragedy or negative things that can make your years mislabel! There isn't one person on this planet who doesn't deal with at least one problem, rather it's a family issue, relationship problem, finances, sickness and so on!
I say let's dream!
I have took a two years of School of Ministry class and the more I learned about the bible the more questions I had about our existing and more confused I got about life itself.
It's crazy to even hear but one teacher explained our faith in a very simplified way!
He said this:
" Isn't it better just to believe in God simply is because if it does exist at the end we end up wining to glory and going to heaven! "
And he also said this:
" Well and if God doesn't exist then it's better to live our time here on earth being good so we can so at the end we are winners once again! "
So I dreamed a lot and will continfeel good about ourself and people remember us as a good human ue to day dream just because I can and he was so right! At the end it's better to go through life with a positive mind set and a good heart because you will feel better about your existing and life itself!
Some people doesn't believe in a higher power or a God and really anything but that's ok! Some people call this the manifestation! They are not exactly dreaming instead they are filling their mind with positive wishes and visualize the things they are yearning for, hoping they attract the things what they want!
Call it however you wish...because it's all the same at the end!
A created fantasy you will find in your doorstep that is actually become a real thing!
So dream on, think positive, visualize the things you want in your life because if you do they will come alive!
My Dreams
Chapter 1.
How can we stay in a healthy mind during this century when all things around us screaming out hate, fights, wars, sickness and diseases, killer viruses and no unity between people and nations.
Dreams are good. NO! Dreams are great because they keep us alive and keep our minds focused on the good things! All we have to do is just turn off the negative thoughts and actively leave in a self created bubble where all we see is the great things in life. It doesn't mean we are not acknowledging the realty the truth what is around us! Our truth, our realty since we all have different issues, problems, sorrows or negative experiences that is blocking our dreams.
Let's all think of a white piece of paper and on this sheet of paper we circle a black dot in the middle of it like this ⚫️ Now this dot might be black but only because we choose a black inked pan. It could be any color 🟣🔵🟢🟡🟠🔴🟤 just make sure it's very much noticeable on this white paper.
I however choose the ⚫️ because it gives the biggest contrast between the two color which representing the feelings between negative and positive.
Now take a look at this paper with this ⚫️.
This ⚫️ means the bad thing in our life's!
The white paper around this ⚫️ is all the great stuff!
If we lift this paper up and ask what do you see on this paper?
I can guaranty that everyone will say, I see a black dote...this ➡️⚫️ It's crazy how we show a white paper but no one will see the white paper, no one will see all the wonderful things that are alive and exiting in our hearts, instead we see that one ⚫️, that one single problem what ever it might be in our case.
The size of this ⚫️ is almost microscopic on a printing paper but it's there! So there is the rest of the paper which is screaming the good life, the lovely things but it's literally become un noticeable because this ⚫️ overwrites the good things!
We just can't see or not able to see the paper because it's one "tiny" black point blocking our eyes to recognize the positive things.
And that is how we are set for failing in life and making us being so negative and hopeless. We can't even dream because we are putting too much focus on this darn ⚫️ If we can just unblock our vision and see a wider image and "creat" this clear bubble that like a shield protect us from ruining our mind and soul and live us in a total failed mind set.
This is how we can start dreaming!
Change our vision and start seeing the great things because they are there we just have to look a little harder.
Dear to dream and your dreams shall come through!
In the first chapter we learn to recognize why we can't dream, what hold us back so now let's all start on building a new mind set and don't let one tree block the whole forest from our vision 👊
This is how I survived from my own personal demons and kept smile on my face through out many years. I learned not to focus on this ⚫️. No matter how hard it was to focus and not let my mind wonder to the middle of the paper I kept my eye site on the white part.
Yes! It's possible and that way we can begin to dream 🙏
My Dreams
Chapter 3
.
Here we are again with our dreams my dreams!
In human minds, dreaming is one necessary state of mind. We are all going through bad times, challenges in life so daydreaming is actually a great way to escape a current situation a circumstance that is bothering us at the time.
You can release depression, previous trauma, or anxiety but those more serious kind of conditions will not go away simply by dreaming.
At times we catch ourself daydreaming when we should be focusing on something but our mind wonders away to a more relaxed or more desired place! It can happen during driving for example to any of us. I find myself driving pretty often and during the drive I have realize I am not even focusing on the road instead my brain is in a completely different place, which I believe I really want to be instead where I am at the moment!
Then there goes the kind of daydreaming but for now let's just mention it as dreaming, the other kind of many dreams when we are actively thinking of something that we are very much wish to happen or a place where we want to be, so our minds set on this positive state and if we just close our eyes we can literally see us being at this beautiful place just like it's real.
Day dreaming is great for so many reasons! As mentioned earlier it can release stress hormones, it can simply get us in meditation since dreaming is a coping mechanism and put us right in a great deal of emotions.
Daydreaming can last for few minutes, for an hour or it can prolong for hours. It can be so vivid and seem so real we don't even want to face reality but the danger of it is this: it can turn into an addiction what we can't even control anymore. This can happen if things are so bad and hopeless around us but for now in this chapter let's just stay on the fact that dreaming is good!
Me personally went through some very difficult times in my life so I have cut myself dreaming. The type when I cut my brain of a serious of wonders but of course it was all good stuff! I have used actively my brain to dream because I wanted to break away from my own self! From the problems, from the hurts that I felt in my heart just to forget everything even if it's for few minutes!
I am very much aware of my being, my actions so I never "abused" the benefits of daydreaming and of course even if I would have push it harder these thinking exercises the facts stayed, so it would have been pretty much a big waist of my time to put more effort into dreaming!
Now then there was times where I was not actively let my mind wonder I just catched myself in places ...those times were the ones where I should have put my focus someplace else but it just happened such as life.
The negative effects on dreaming will be in my next chapter so let's just stay here where I actually wanted to dream!
Time to time I have endless list of events, life stages where I wished to see myself but because at that moment and seasons in my life it couldn't happen. I did use the active dreaming so it can carry me to some place where it would have been a much friendlier much happier place! Yes I did and I never thought for a second nor it ever crossed my mind that I am in a mental disorder because of that. When it was still a healthy thinking time frame I did put myself right back to reality so this yearning doesn't turn into this addiction and used it to escape from reality!
I think this is how I "survived" 23 years away from my family in the U.S and this is how I kept myself in a right mind in a thinking process that is reflecting my own reality instead of stuck somewhere where I didn't belong too!
I could mention millions of stories and situations where I was daydreaming and I am so glad I did!
I think there isn't one person on this earth who doesn't actively dreaming simply because this is that few moments where we can feel good about life and not feel the pressure that society put on us. Life is pretty massy for many people so let us dream let's make ourself forget the problems but of course all this within in a controlled mind frame so we can stay in reality.
In the next chapter I will touch base with all the dangers on daydreaming because just like anything else in life...it can have a negative effect on us too! Everything we do must be done in control-self control so it can be at all times a positive effect and build us
My Dream
My dreams
Chapter 4
.
We left off chapter 3 on the positive effects when we are daydreaming!
Let's now talk about the negativity since it's just as important as the good stuff right?
Depression! We often use day dreaming to escape from the ugly reality and when things get more rough we can feel trapped in our own minds! Then here comes these thoughts that are filling us up with poor images of ourself and situations and suddenly we just can't see to get out of them.
When we are "trapped" if you will in our inner world that it gets harder to ground us in realty and our issues starts to drown us! Physically, mentally it sucks us into the point where we start to neglect our friends, family, hobbies, work and eventually we can loose ourself!
It can overlap with several mental health or neurological conditions but for now let's just stay with the kind of depression that's doesn't require doctors and medical treatments!
Maladaptive daydreaming is when our daydreaming becomes excessive and it becomes immersed in series of imaginations!
We are not simply closing our eyes and see beautiful things for few minutes, now instead we are literally actively seeing things that are not real and believe for hours that this thing we are yearning for is real! We are in this fantasy world but it's truly happening! The danger of that is when people come off from this compulsive stage of mind, they just can't even attempt to cope with the reality and the problem now is...they can attempt suicide! In our society the problems become an every day non stop struggle for many of us and it's just a fine line separate us from being a daydreamer from a chronic dreamer!
While daydreaming is a wonderful thing because it's enhancing creativity and providing a mental escape, chronic daydreaming is so toxic so far from reality, that can cause dangerous situations!
Increasing anxiety, make our thinking and goal settings way off from reality, it has an impact on our sleep, it can hinder personal growth or perhaps developments if it's a younger person!
The list on the negative aspects are so long and so worry-full that is not even funny!
I thankfully never got to the point when my dreaming become maladaptive! I simply couldn't offer to stay in this fantasy world during my years in the U.S simply because when you are alone you must keep going forward and take care of financial responsibilities because this actual fantasy world just would not get you out of the hole you are in. You can daydream all you want but when you are opening your eyes back on the problems, the bills are still there...like a child who is dreaming...life is not a children book. Dreaming won't do the magic! Life isn't a fairy tail stick that we circle around and there you have your princess wish come through.
It's way more real and way more serious then that! One wrong move, just a few extra daydreams and you will find yourself on the street!
That's right! On the street become a homeless where you can keep on dreaming and get to a delusional stage! I have worked a lot and yes I have always dreamed for a better easier life but all this under control so I can stay in reality and won't destroy myself!
In my next chapter I will share my feelings, my own inner demons, my experiences with real life stories and about some people who actually end up on the street homeless probably because they just wasn't strong enough and couldn't stop daydreaming on the level when it's still in a healthy stage. I have helped actively 4 years a nonprofit organization. This group was helping homeless people in the San Fernando Valley in California where I also stayed for many many years!
I will share how and why I gave up so much of my free time for these people and how they helped me to stay strong with my own life issues! At first I thought I was helping them. But no! I have realized they helped me and I am forever thankful for all they shared with me because it made me realize what's really important in life!
Let me close this chapter saying this:
Be thankful for all you have because even if you think it's isn't much...for so many people it would be THE big dream, and they only can dream about the one third of your blessings!
Dreaming is great but do all things in moderations and know when to stop! Like really many other things in life 🫶
My dreams
Chapter 5
Previously I have touched based about daydreaming and what is the positive vs. negative effects in our beings when we cut up on living in a fantasy world.
I left off by mentioning how quickly with out even joking, anyone can end up loosing everything if we are not strong enough to deal with reality. If we are struggling with anything, really any areas in life it's all right to get out of our mind and go to a more beautiful place but and the BUT is there...with moderation!
I have gave 4 years of my life to help out in a Nonprofit Organization. New Friends Homeless Center was weekly giving out goods, sleeping bags, tents and many things that helps people on the street feel more secure if you can say that. Sit down four course meals twice a week and so on...basically giving a lot! During these hours, days, weeks, months I had the chance to speak with many of these precious people and was able to have a little understanding why they are at the place where they were.
At the time I worked 4 different jobs and had very little time for myself yet I dedicated myself to go and feed them, give them out what ever we could.
I have times actually many times when I was so exhausted and felt hopeless about my own life because bills had not stop coming, my jobs was never ending. I woke up go work one place then go to the next and the next after and before I knew it, the day was gone. The next day it's all started again like a bad dream.
I had a nice little cozy place to return at night, I had a car that I used to go to places, I had food on my table, clean cloths and many great friend. I still felt tired and many times I felt sorry for myself! Because I was tired.
I daydreamed a lot so for little moments I can get out of this cycle and feel happy but of course it was just a dream. Problems after problems. One pressure after the next and it all seemed it will never end.
Suddenly I found this organization and very quickly I started to look outside of my own box and see...wow...there are people who has way less then I do. Things that was basic for me and yes I was grateful but in the mean time disappointed to see others have a more easy life. Thankfully I never felt envy for anyone. Only sad because I had to work too much to provide the "basic" needs for myself!
Then when we served dinner for the homeless I looked around and saw the real hunger, the real devastation and I felt ashamed. Ashamed because I now saw how incredibly blessed I am and I do have everything I need.
Now of course we all can look at life and we are actually looking at life in a very different angle. We all have very different up bringing. A different start off in life. It's up to us from there which direction we are going. If we have help it's easier if we don't life can be a real struggle.
Then here comes the DREAMING!!!
Some of us dreaming of wealth, some just to able to pay the bills and able to get by. Then there is people who has everything they need but they loose it anyway. Addictions, inner weakness, bad influence from others, bad luck in life and so on!
While I was going through these afternoons with the homeless people they have shared stories with me about why they end up on the street.
There was quite many veterans who has served the country. They got injured but the government wouldn't help with doctor bills and due to lack of family they just simply bankrupt. Not able to pay rent any longer, no money to eat etc. There is just it's one way to go...under the bridge.
Then we got airplane pilots who are one day had a respectable job. Somehow they lost their jobs and if they don't have the right education to do something else plus have a dreamer mentality...well yes...an other way and an other type of people who is going down the drain.
These are just two example two different job title that we helped but what surprised me is this!
They were American citizens, had all the power and chance to just get on with life but they end up on the street!
Why?
Well because they daydreamed too much!
I have spoke to them literally hours and hear their stories and couldn't comprehend how can you fall so hard when you had it all once.
I have had some really terrible times and trust me when I say this!!! Terrible!!! But not once I even dear to lay at home and dream about things getting better with out me do something about it. Not once I held out my hands for free food or free of anything because I knew I will fail and I just couldn't chance it to have it even worse then it was all ready!
I adored the stories and never ever judged anybody because no one really fully see the real story real struggle of these people. They share as much they please too but to any life to any story has so much more behind it so don't judge!
One thing I did get out of these stories though.
One day I stopped feeling sorry for myself! I stopped daydreaming about a better life because I saw I all ready have one.
I thought I was helping for four years these people but really...they helped me tremendously because I found my own balance and I learned to appreciate even more what I have.
At some point me working 4 jobs wasn't a burden anymore instead I saw it as a real blessing. A girl like me who didn't even have work permits at all times yet had jobs...isn't it a blessing? I never had to sleep on the street! I always had food in my fridge even though sometimes it wasn't much or the things I wished to have but hey... I wasn't hungry.
I had a car and even though many times the gas light was on and screamed I need gas but somehow I made it home every night. The next morning I took my paycheck to the bank, cashed it and rushed to the gas station so I can go to work again. Wow so many times now I think about it has happened lol. Now it's funny but it's not that laughable when you on the dark road alone late at night and know if your gas runs out you can't call anyone to help you out. Soooo yes!!!
I day dreamed because it made me feel happier but thank God I never overdue it to the point when it becomes toxic in my life and made me sink too!
The homeless people who we served had good hearts. Many of them were really good people but at some point they felt it's easier to daydream, numb the reality and give it all up. To fight in life for your life isn't easy unless you were born in THE silver spoon in your mouth but of course many people have that but they still can fall deep and be the victim of any kind of addiction. The end result is fatal.
Dreaming right? It seems so innocent and positive yet could be tragic!
I always functioned with love in my heart. Do all things with love because it will bring you good things in life. Well love has brought me joy, amazing friends, blessings that I never ever imagined, good karma if you will. It has brought me strength to go through life and yes I dreamed, I still do but I must do it with moderation because God can do only so much for you! THE "Realty" is...you must do it for yourself.
Dreaming is awesome just use this imaginative state with a clear mind and don't over do it!
Do all things with LOVE and dream about something wonderful because it might come through 🫶 Just forget to do it with a clear mind
Sent from my iPhone
My dreams
Chapter 6
I have talked about daydreaming, hope, life, in my previous chapters!
My motto is really about one specific bible verse which is :
1 Corinthians 16:14
" Let all your things be done with charity. Let all that you do be done in Love. And do everything with love.
Isn't this a beautiful message? And wouldn't be great if all people on earth would follow this and all hatred would just go away for good?
I believe that this verse could be translated and applied to so many things because everting in life have a pedestal.
What ever we build it must stand on a foundation a "basis" so it won't collapse.
Now let's go back for a moment to my story in Chapter 5 about the homeless people! I have mentioned some people who had respectable jobs once but then it went away and they end up being homeless.
Well...there is many people who is coming from different walks of life and has specific stories how they life collapsed but there is an other type of homeless people who didn't have that good job to begin with! They grow up in poverty and never had the chance to go to school and get the right education.
I have spoken to so many people in the shelter during dinner times and I was at awwws when I heard how some people viewed life. Many of them actually admitted with out even being ashamed that they refuse to go to work, because at that time average hourly wage was about $15 and with that income it was not possible to rent a place, get food, health insurance and so on!
Let's just mention that in that time I worked 4 jobs parallel to each other and yes! With $15 per hours you can not pay all expenses monthly! BUT!!! I choose to have 3 more jobs, work Monday to Sunday so my other jobs would cover the other bills and everything else that needed to be taking care of so I can leave on my own and have a place to lay my head down. I didn't have much but always had just enough 🙏
Now!
Let's go back to the stories I heard.
Many people I spoke to on these nights and to my surprise what they shared was quite shocking for me!
They literally said they will not go to work! They actually refuse to go to work because when they go to beg for money on an average day they would collect about $ 300-400. From that amount they wouldn't have to pay tax and even though they sleep on the street this money is enough to buy food, alcohol and drug! Oh and once in every blue moon they check into a motel and sleep there!
I couldn't believe that anyone with a conscious mind would be ok to saddle for this life! Being dirty, be on the street in rain in heat in storms or what ever the outside condition is!
But they said yes that's how they choose to do it and they are not even trying to be in a different situation!
Mentioning on a side note this organization even took the time to help people in need to find a job and get back on their feet after end up on the street! Very few of them took the opportunity and be involved with the rehabilitation and try to get off the street!
In an average night we served anywhere between 120-150 people! Maybe one or two families with little children in years who accepted the help and wanted to clean up their life after loosing everything. I am wondering! All the people who end up on the street are daydreaming or the minds are so filled with drugs and alcohol where it's not even functioning any longer!
Since I believe love covers a multitude of sins, mistakes we make could be corrected! If and only if we are participating and we are present in the company of help and helpers!
Do all things with love is a great hope but sadly it's not the reality! Yes there is millions of people who has a good heart and stay clean stay in good boundaries within but there are millions who simply has the most twisted ego, the most evil heart, the careless soul, the narcissist personality so they would never give a damm about anyone else. They don't even care about themself!
Daydreaming therefor is a thing that it's not only negative or positive effect, it could be a "thing" when it becomes a total delusional state of mind and it falls into this mutual state between negative and positive! You are kind of just havering nowhere you are just existing but not feeling anything anymore.
We can want love and peace on earth but that itself simply became a DREAM!
Now days with all this mass around the world, the political situations, the wars, the global warming and all that...We all become the BIG FAT daydream. We are using all kinds of methods, mediations, massages, music for an escape! To get away from realty and we learned to train ourself to put our focus on the things that make us feel better rather is real or just a temporally state of being!
We must use this "fantasy" imaginary mind to survive life.
People are clinging to love more and more because they don't have the answers how to make things better in this lost world!
Parents are devastated and worry about their children future because things are so massed up for this generation. Older people worry about they left over years because they are just few step away from finding themselves on the street! At least in Hungary the government is working on lowering the monthly retirement money so elderly people can't pay even the utility any longer and not able to get groceries that are basic to survive. Mid generation is worry about they future and struggling with bills, rent.
It's all being a mass!
Now the question is.
Daydreaming is the answer or love? Let's do all things with love so we can leave in a world that pleases us. The other option is to fill ourself with false products to numb us and just say: screw this, give up.
I think like everything else in life is relative!
What ever works for me it might won't work for you. We do have the chance to pick what we want and how we want things in our life's so yes!!!
Let's all daydream and do all things with love in the same time because after all at the end we come out winners.
Maybe it's easier to give up and fall into the mutual state where we don't even feel anything but that doesn't even call life anymore.
I saw that with my own eyes at the homeless shelter and I would never ever want to fall into that place.
I want to leave, I want to love and I want to exist because our time is limited here so mind as well we shall spend